The Circus of Emotions

After the final presentations in my Fashion Photography class, the stories slowly started to emerge.

A lot of my students admitted that they had almost decided not to submit their final project. Some felt they weren’t good enough. Others wanted to do an ordinary shoot just to get it over with. A few deliberately lowered their own expectations before anyone else could. Now that the pressure is gone, they can finally talk about what they had been carrying throughout the process.

When you’re a creative, you will eventually find yourself in an emotional battle against yourself.

Self-doubt doesn’t arrive all at once. It slowly builds until it reaches a point where it becomes overwhelming. The highs you’ve experienced before won’t necessarily save you from the fall. Your previous successes suddenly feel distant. They don’t seem to matter anymore.

The only way out is to close your eyes and create.

Create something beautiful that somehow breaks your fall.

Some creatives simply allow themselves to reach the bottom. Down there, expectations disappear. There is no one left to impress and nothing left to prove. The fear slowly fades, and from there they begin to build themselves up again.

Others become afraid of rebuilding. They’re afraid that once the pressure returns, they’ll end up in the same place all over again.

It’s a vicious cycle.

I think every true artist goes through this circus of emotions.

This is where creative thoughts are formed. Not only during the highs, but also in the darkest moments. The battle between confidence and self-doubt, between feeling invincible and feeling completely alone, is where some of the most honest work comes from.

At the end of the class, I told my students something that I also remind myself from time to time.

If you’re experiencing this, it means you’re an artist—just like every artist who has ever tried to create something meaningful.

We all seek affirmation. We all want someone to tell us that what we’re creating is good enough. But sooner or later, you’ll have to find your own way in and out of that emotional struggle.

As you mature as an artist, you’ll learn how to navigate it. You’ll recognize the signs and recover a little faster each time. But don’t expect the internal battle with self-doubt to disappear.

It won’t.

It simply becomes part of who you are as an artist.

Keep on shooting everyone!